All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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