Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
