The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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