Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
