They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
