Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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