Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize