I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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