Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
