I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
