My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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