he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Watching her eat just hurts me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize