I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
