overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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