guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize