go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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