Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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