Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
whose parrot is this?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
