my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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