It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
