Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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