You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
