my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize