yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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