we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
