there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
