we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just pee around me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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