Where did you get a picture of my penis
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can I color on your dick again?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
