Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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