Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
