i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
