There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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