i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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