his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
