Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
