His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
a search helicopter?!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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