I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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