Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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