One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
