those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it glows. i had to have it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize