Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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