So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
