white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
two words: eviction party
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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