I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
