If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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