New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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