who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
