If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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