He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
