Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
