I just cut my nipple shaving
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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