I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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