why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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