he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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