I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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