I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize