God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
