Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
OPIZZABONMYDICK
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
