someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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