I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
