Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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