Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
