We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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