is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
