Sry I called you an 8
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
