There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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