you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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